For Women with ADHD ADD Who Want to Connect
We recently had a death in our extended family. My husband was very close to this relative. We obviously went to the funeral and were with the family as they grieved. I hated that my husband was hurting. I wanted to be there for him...and I tried so hard...but I couldn't help mightily struggling with my ADD....We were in the house all day for two days. I almost have to be on the go all the time....being quiet and still...particularly for long periods of time was almost just too much. I did the best I could but I know I wasn't exactly what he needed me to be. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Tips? Does some of this just come with time? I've only been diagnosed for about 3 weeks?
Permalink Reply by Karen on I always have a book and my crocheting and sometimes even my little Battleship game. We are what we are and have our ways of coping. You can put down what you are doing if someone talks to you, but can listen to conversations while you are doing what you do to pass the time. Otherwise you will go nuts
Permalink Reply by Jenny on I cannot imagine a more difficult scenario than sitting quietly in a house for 2 days. I would go out of my mind. When I know I have to be still for a long time (conferences) I bring hand sewing or knitting and sit somewhere I won't bother anyone with my movements. Last December I sat with my father in the hospital for 5 days (day and night, the week before the doc suggested I might have ADD so I didn't know what was the matter with me) I started panicking several times and had to leave him abruptly for a while.
Plan to move around regularly. Sit near the door to get out easily. Get a fidget toy. Write or type notes if you are listening to someone talk - it breaks up the monotony (just be careful - I got "volunteered" to take minutes of a meeting since I was already typing...I actually had to organize and edit what I had typed. That was awful!)
"Forget" something in the car so you have to leave and go outside to get it. Take a loooong time to find it. Volunteer to watch the kids.
Handcrafts are the best, though. I spent 6 hours in the ER yesterday with my aunt - I knew it was going to be awful, so I pulled out the t-shirt I was going to add ruffles to, and worked on it all day - got most of it done! Now, since I have ADD, it will sit unfinished in a drawer until the next time I have to sit still for a while, because to actually finish it would betray the "ADHD sisterhood"
Permalink Reply by Hope on Sooooo...I think I may need to learn how to sew. I did volunteer to take charge of kiddos and that did help a lot...but oh there are times this adhd thing is really difficult!
Permalink Reply by Hope on I can do a movie...esp if we watch one at home and I can get up, walk around, stand, etc....I've always done that WAY before I knew about the ADD ;) Yes, it was always there....but just recently known about/diagnosed ;)
Permalink Reply by Jenny on My husband had been begging me to sit and watch some Comedy Central with him - he finally cornered me on the couch and insisted. I had nothing to do with my hands and found myself picking my nails, picking my face (Adderall acne and a little OCD do not mix well)...ugh! Finally he drifted away and I turned on my laptop and went to my Pinterest site and browsed while I listened - and then I really enjoyed it!
Permalink Reply by Karen on
Jenny said:
My husband had been begging me to sit and watch some Comedy Central with him - he finally cornered me on the couch and insisted. I had nothing to do with my hands and found myself picking my nails, picking my face (Adderall acne and a little OCD do not mix well)...ugh! Finally he drifted away and I turned on my laptop and went to my Pinterest site and browsed while I listened - and then I really enjoyed it!
© 2013 Created by Terry Matlen, ACSW.
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