Women With ADHD ADD

For Women with ADHD ADD Who Want to Connect

I was just diagnosed with ADD at the age of 43. I am currently reading up on the condition and keep running into comments like "people with ADD are so creative", "people with ADD talk impulsively" and "ADDers are thrillseekers". I don't feel this way. I have poor motor skills and I am not at all hyperactive.

As an introvert I tend to internalize and tend to try to think through a discussion before jumping in. I tend to only speak my mind to those who are close to me. If it were up to me, I would be perfectly happy to stay at home and putter around my disorganized house. I am quiet and shy.

I have drifted through my life without finding a purpose. I am currently seeing a career counselor to find a better job for myself but find myself dreading what may come up.

Do any others feel this way?

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Hi Kim...it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do for a career, and even then it wasn't so much that I went out looking for it, I just sort of landed on it...which was fortunate, not to mention probably a rare thing to happen too.  Before that I was drifting as well...following whatever whim seemed like a good idea at the time and never really looking at the future or planning ahead.  With outside help I am learning to be a better planner but I still have trouble seeing past the present moment enough to consider future consequences or what might be good for the long term.

I too am an introvert and try to think things through before I jump in...but I know that that is in part due to the fact I have a difficult time following conversations without getting distracted and lost, particularly if there are more than two people involved in the conversation.  The hyperactivity part is not so apparent in adults, if it even exists at all...and with ADHD inattentive type there was never hyperactivity to begin with.

It is possible you are more creative than you realize, as , for example, people with ADHD often come up with very creative and innovative ways of coping...they develop coping skills without even realizing necessarily that that's what they are.  But regardless, these things aren't set in stone and on top of that, the stereotypes/beliefs held by much of the general public regarding what an ADHD person should look like don't exactly hold true.

Just know you are in no way in this by yourself...trust me when I say there are many, many with a similar experience to yours, still with no set direction for the future or ironed out plans or purpose.  I do know however things do have a way of working out, in spite of how hazy it might look at the present :)

Funny you say this, I have put lots of thoughts into the idea of being an introverted ADHDer. I, too, am an introvert. I am quite familiar with Myers-Briggs personality typology (where extrovert/introvert stuff comes from). I wonder if it is the ADHDers who are perhaps extroverted and sensing (sensing = predominantly types who interact with their environment through their five senses) are the ones who exhibit the running, climbing, talking, speeding, etc, behaviour and hence this is very obvious and measurable to an outsider. But if a person is an introvert and an intuitive (sees big picture, lives inside one's head, makes lots of connections between concepts/ideas/thoughts, abstract), then I believe that their hyperactivity exists IN THEIR HEADS. For me, my mind won't stop going, it is always thinking, always on hyper speed, making constant connections, daydreams, crazy dreams at night every single night, distracted by my mind while people are talking to me, and when I go to reply to someone I am flooded with all sorts of answers taking into consideration every single perspective, connection, consequence, logic, and I get kind of "stuck".

I verbalise my thoughts a lot with those I am close to (in fact, I don't stop! lol) but with others I just don't say anything. I am an all or nothing person. Plus being an introvert, socialising drains me so I need to be picky about the social interactions I engage in. I get energised through my thoughts though, rather hyperactively lol

I love staying at home too and I never get bored here. My house is also very disorganised lol

I, too, have no idea what kind of job to do. I don't know what kind of job works well with this kind of personality. If you come up with something, let me know!! So many jobs are suited to extroverts and sensing types, it is difficult.

Do you have a hyperactive mind?

Liz

Hello,

 

I am not an introvert per se but I would rather stay home than anything else.  I am happy by myself.  I think some of this stems with being uncomfortable in crowds because there are so many distractions around me.  I am much better in really small get togethers.  Some of the "symptoms" you will read about will fit you but many will not.  You should pick out what fits you and not try to make all the symptoms listed apply to you.  I became, when I started reading books about ADD, really irritated because it didn't seem that all the symptoms applied to me.  Then I spoke with my therapist and she explained that, as with all diagnosis, some of the symptoms apply and some don't.  I encourage you to continue to read books and investigate while keeping in mind what I said above.  I wish you luck in your career search. 

 

Take care

 

Patti

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