For Women with ADHD ADD Who Want to Connect
Can depression and inattentive ADD co-exist? How many of my colleagues here, on this site, have experienced both and what can be done about it?
Thank you,
Julie
Permalink Reply by Karen L on 
Permalink Reply by Susan on Permalink Reply by Susan on I have had depression AND anxiety all of my life but I always knew there was something else very wrong and with absolutely no answer for my problems no matter how many books I got on memory, organization, initiating conversation, low esteem and on and on..... Until 15 yrs ago when I found the book Driven to Distraction! Ya mean I'm no just a dorky freak, a total loser? It's not my fault?? Whew! Sigh of relief (however short lived) I do see a shrink for the depression and anxiety. His answer for the ADD which he really believes is more to do with the depression is " Take notes." Ya think? I got notes coming out of my ears. On top of that I've got notes to remind me of where I put the 1st notes and what they were about in the first place......well, I'm sure get the picture. My insurance doesn't allow for such specialiaed therapy, but if yours does, I do believe, it would be of great assistance to you Meantime just keep learning all you can about it, keep talking to those with the same problems and experienes and do keep coming back here to this website. Best of luck to you.
Permalink Reply by Susan on You are absolutely right: my psychiatrist does not understand ADHD; it is certainly not his area of expertise. He seems to think that the answers are obvious and it isn't as if I haven't tried them (with little or no success I might add.) However, as I mentioned my ins. will not allow for any treat ment as specialized as ADHD so I do feel I'm on my own with this one. I did recently pick up a workbook for organization and time management specifically geared to ADHD by Kronburg and Nadeau (sp?) as well as one on Anxiety and Depression. My dr. did start me on Prestique which i do feel is helping the depression so I'M hoping with that support I can concentrate on the ADHD aspects of the problem on my own.
Susan said:My feeling about your psychiatrist is he doesn't understand the ADD. He understands depression. I agree it is a hard concept to understand for myself and I have it. It is hard to understand that an adult doesn't know what to do to organize papers or how to begin something when they seem to be and are a highly intelligent person. . . . it is really beyond comprehension. I personally and strongly believe that your anxiety and depression come from the undiagnosed ADHD and the not being able to do all that is in your brain to do. The lists won't keep you organized. . . you're right. There are some people who do need to make lists that don't or haven't used that but I make all sorts of lists and a lot of them have the same thing on it. I want to make sure I remember and there are lots of little things I would like to do that i don't want to forget about because I do want to do them. . . I really do. That constant frustration even though not wholly realized leads to being depressed about not being able to live up to what we expect or want. That iss how I see it. I think notes about your life and feelings may help but I don't think your psychiatrist gets it. . . I could be wrong.
Maggie said:I have had depression AND anxiety all of my life but I always knew there was something else very wrong and with absolutely no answer for my problems no matter how many books I got on memory, organization, initiating conversation, low esteem and on and on..... Until 15 yrs ago when I found the book Driven to Distraction! Ya mean I'm no just a dorky freak, a total loser? It's not my fault?? Whew! Sigh of relief (however short lived) I do see a shrink for the depression and anxiety. His answer for the ADD which he really believes is more to do with the depression is " Take notes." Ya think? I got notes coming out of my ears. On top of that I've got notes to remind me of where I put the 1st notes and what they were about in the first place......well, I'm sure get the picture. My insurance doesn't allow for such specialiaed therapy, but if yours does, I do believe, it would be of great assistance to you Meantime just keep learning all you can about it, keep talking to those with the same problems and experienes and do keep coming back here to this website. Best of luck to you.
Permalink Reply by Julie on Absolutely they can co-exist. In my own understanding of things and I have done a lot of reading but I am basing my answer on me really. . . .it is hard to say that it is depression or is it ADHD. Living with the undiagnosed ADHD and the feelings that you have felt your whole life and having difficulty with things others find easy. . . the not feeling smart even though you probably are smart. . . but how can you learn like everyone else if you can't hold your attention when reading or studying or doing anything.. . writing in an organized fashion. . . it is an unfair advantage and that can make you depressed. Not being able to listen to what the instructor says not because you don't want to but because you can't and then being afraid you'll be called on to answer a question. . . that can lead to anxiety. But is it really anxiety or depresssion or is it all from the ADHD - attentive or inattentive. We hear the negative messages that are said and not the postiive ones. Our brains are kind of wired that way and whether we say anything or not we take them to heart and that can make us depressed. I really don't know how they weed out what is what. . . I think you have to educate yourself about ADHD and think about you and your situation. I know I get sad easily and I take things to heart but I don't think it is depression. . . I think it is the ADHD. Just as easily little things can make me extremely happy too. At points in time I wondered if I was bipolar, yet I knew I wasn't that but it kind of felt like that sometimes. I subtly knew something was "wrong" or "different" about me in the way I felt about things. I had good, supportive parents and no one ever thought anything was wrong about me (or I don't think they did). I was a good student and have a Master's Degree. I always felt like I felt emotions stronger and deeper than other people. When I dared to express those emotions I was always told you shouldn't feel that way. Maybe I shouldn't have. . . but I did. So I supressed talking about that. But from this website I learned that other ADHDers say the same thing. I think we are right. I have always said that was one of my best qualities and one of my worst. . . I am so senstive and empathetic. . . . it is good for the people I share that empathy for. . . but for me it is difficult.
Anyhow I'm getting off on a tangent and my answer probably doesn't make sense, but it is freeing to be able to write and just not care if it is perfect or if it makes sense. It makes sense to me and I hope some part of it helps you.
If you are depressed it isn't a character flaw. Anti-depressants help some people, but treating your ADHD might be what it is or seeing a therapist. I think seeing a therapist or someone that can help you sort out your feelings would help. I personally recommend keeping a journal and writing how you feel. . . not just "today was a good day or a bad day" but you explore on your own why you think you feel that way and analyze what is going on. It is you that holds the answers really. I write a journal daily and have for the past 2 years. It has really, really helped me. My therapist is wonderful and has read it. It has helped me get more bang for my buck as 45 minutes isn't that long. He has much more insight into me because of it. I turn it several days before I go and almost always he has read it. If you're like me. . . especially before medicine I can't easily answer questions when I am "put on the spot". . . it makes me nervous and I can't remember. So, if I can't remember what happened he already knows. The therapist can help point you in the right direction and give you things to think about or challenge you. It has to be someone you have a good rapport with and can relate too and someone who knows a lot about ADHD too. There are therapists and professionals who don't really believe it exists or understand it.
Remember ADHDers are resilent people and we have wonderful qualities. . . . it is just a process to go through to really discover and believe that. You need supportive people around you. I could ramble on and on. . . . especially because I am using this as an avoidance tactic to avoid doing what I don't want to. Unfortunately that is one of my issues. . . I guess for all of us. No, I really do like answering people on here. It is much easier to give advice than to always follow the advice. . . Hope this helps. I hope I answered the meat and potatoes on the question.
© 2012 Created by Terry Matlen, ACSW.
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