For Women with ADHD ADD Who Want to Connect

Does anyone else stress out about shopping for clothes?

In this discussion a lot of us mentioned that we feel pretty incompetent when if comes to the "girly stuff" of life. I was hoping others could weigh in on the whole issue with clothes shopping.

I could try to describe how much I hate shopping for clothes, but to save time I'll just tell you that there are no words.

Clothes shopping makes me incredibly anxious, to the point of breaking out in a cold sweat whenever I try things on in the fitting room. I hate trying to balance cost-effectiveness with whether something fits with whether it looks good ... and that's even assuming that I can find something I like well enough to bother trying on. The fact that I'm losing weight doesn't help -- if something fits me well now it will be a little loose in a few weeks.

I'm taking a trip to France next week, and this has meant a great deal of shopping ... and a lot of anxiety. I bought a pair of pants that I LOVE, except that they were on sale, and the only size available is one size too small. On the one hand, I feel like I should find something else; on the other hand, every time I've bought pants that fit in the last year, they've been too big a few weeks later.

But there's a part of me that feels like if I go for the too-small pants, I'll stop losing weight immediately and they'll never fit and I'll be uncomfortable for my entire trip and I'll have wasted my money.

Sorry for the long rant ... can anyone else relate?

Tags: clothes, clothing, feminine, girly, money, overwhelm, shopping, spending

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tinker Bell on February 5, 2010 at 6:05am: France?! I envy you to no end! :-) As for the clothes shopping, I hate it too, believe me! I just get so overwhelmed by the decision-making process, trying to find something that doesn't cost an arm and a leg and that would look good on me (not an easy feat due to my *ahem* generous proportions). And I'm constantly second guessing my choices. I really don't have any words of wisdom, but I do know how you feel. I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip. Bon Voyage!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Addy on February 5, 2010 at 5:37pm: Merci! I'm looking forward to the trip. Hopefully my clothes will all get here on time.

When I was more generously proportioned myself, I actually used to work at an outdoor store that sold clothing. Our customers were women who ran marathons and triathalons and did 100 mile bike rides ... I assumed clothes would fit them, no problem.

Nope. Every single female shopper walked into the fitting room with a dozen pairs of pants, and handed most of them back to me, saying "I'm really sorry, none of these fit. I must be a mutant or something".

I find it helps to remind myself that until 60 years ago or so, clothing wasn't bought off the rack in these weird preconceived "sizes". Someone would take your measurements and the clothing would be made to fit. End of story.

Of course, one of the few things I hate more than shopping for clothes is sewing :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Karen L on February 5, 2010 at 10:45pm: i hate trying on clothes, i just don't have the patience for it. i have to shop at lane bryant (the fat lady store) but fortunately, i can go in there, pick out my jeans and know that they'll fit. and when I do shop at the thrift store, all that hodge podge of clothing is overwhelming. looking at each item to see if i like it? please! i just don't have the patience most of the time. when i was thin, i loved shopping for clothes. now that i'm bigger, nothing looks good on me. i work with some ladies who are bigger than me and they look great in their clothes. maybe it has more to do with attitude? but i don't like the whole clothes shopping process.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Addy on February 6, 2010 at 3:59pm: I used to have good luck with Lane Byrant jeans. And bras. I loved the fact that I could get a Cacique bra in my size and it would just work. When I lost weight I put off bra-shopping for a really long time, and finally went to Nordstrom, where the saleslady gave me a fitting and helped me find stuff on sale.

Now that was a great experience ... I just had to stand there in my nice, calm fitting room, and she brought me things in my size. It was the only pleasant shopping experience I've ever had.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Marie on February 11, 2010 at 12:23am: Absolutely. Go with the facts. Deal with the reality. Take clothes that fit..not clothes that dont..keep it simple. Remember..ADD thinking likes to think of every contingency in the world, thus making it impossible to make a decision. For me, that IS the ADD....rule of thumb..deal with facts. Losing weight ..fantastic..congratulations!! I bet you look and feel great...wear things that fit you right now...if they don't fit next week..deal with it then...Deal with today..and wow..I hopeyou have a fabulous trip to France..that sounds exciting!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by paisley on March 8, 2010 at 11:08pm: YES! I HATE shopping! this has always been weird to everyone i know, but i just can't stand it. I get all flustered and sweaty in the fitting room, can't decide on anything, hate everything, and leave feeling like I have hives. I have always been the odd girl out because of this. Also I hate the smell, lighting, and layout of the stores. Weird, I know. ;-); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Addy on March 8, 2010 at 11:14pm: I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who gets sweaty. It feels so gross, knowing that some other poor person is going to come along and try on the same thing ... but I just hate it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cari on March 8, 2010 at 11:42pm: YES!! You know, it's like I walk into a store and instead of seeing a big picture and focusing on what I want/need, I find that everything (and I mean everything, even the same shirt in a different color) demands my attention-I have to touch it and think about it...crazy! My kids won't shop with me, but now and then I take my 20yr old dtr who knows my taste and style and can keep me focused. But I still really need to go back and touch that necklace. And the shoes. And the scarfs. And the Spanx!! Oh my goodness, the spanx!!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Addy on March 10, 2010 at 3:27am: Several years ago one of my friends said that she had at least two-dozen bras ... bras for various necklines and padding and lift ... even thinking about that drives me crazy. She couldn't believe it when I told her I had three.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Terry Matlen, ACSW on March 14, 2010 at 6:46pm: This is a great thread. I can relate so well. Too well.
I sweat, get overwhelmed and hate the experience, period.

Then I discovered Chicos. I basically walk in, tell the clerk what I need and ask her to dress me like a Barbie Doll. They love it. Usually.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Tara McGillicuddy on March 14, 2010 at 11:31pm: Have you seen the show "What Not to Wear" on TLC? I often wonder how many of those women have ADD? Some of them are in tears when they have to shop on their own.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Terry Matlen, ACSW on March 14, 2010 at 11:36pm: Nope, never saw that show. Do they get criticized for their choices? Or does the host dress them? Or..?

Tara McGillicuddy said:
Have you seen the show "What Not to Wear" on TLC? I often wonder how many of those women have ADD? Some of them are in tears when they have to shop on their own.; ▶ Reply to This