You are NOT alone, Yvette. Welcome! Jae
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Edgar Allan Poe
Hi I'm Kate, I'm 38 and have such a simular story to yours as well as a lot of others on this site. I have a lot to say and share about myself, (as always) =) now is just not I good time however, I have to finish a lot of stuff that was due to be done yesterday..:/ I just wanted to share this poem from one of my favorite poets. I meant to send it in the same comment but messed it up somehow???
Have a great night ! And Enjoy!!
There will come a time when you will be able to laugh at yourself. Mostly out of the happiness of just knowing you aren't just off..for no reason. I smiled really big when I read the part where you don't know where to begin, so you go back to the covers where it's safe. I did the exact same thing today! I do it all the time. I must say that I have been taking meds for about a year now and they have been very, very effective. Good Luck to you and keep your head up. It's not as bad as it seems. now that you know, work hard on your coping/life skills. You'll be okay!
I am like you almost to the letter, except I wasn't diagnosed until 50, by then I was extremely depressed. I take anti-depressants and they really help, but taking adderall makes the biggest difference. I take 20mg before work, one at noon and recently added one when I get home in the evening. In two years my career has turned from poor performer to meets expectations. But when I got home, I was back to disorganized, inattentive, unfocused. I take adderall when I get home and I have begun to dig myself out of years of clutter piled up everywhere. I am able to keep my kitchen clean and clutter free, my sofa and living room floor is clear. I don't move piles, I take one area and put things away. My house is still disorganized and cluttered in places, but I am still working on it everyday. I have a plan, goals and guidelines I follow everyday until they become habits. Someday's I have a hard time remembering or focusing, but I have catch words that help me to get things done. Every day a little more gets done.