I was diagnosed with ADHD only a week ago today. When I first heard the diagnosis, took the medication, and did my own research, I felt like I had been reborn. Finally, a diagnosis that didn't read "Borderline Personality," a diagnosis that never felt right. But not only a short week later, my feelings of depression and hopelessness have returned. After diligent, borderline-manic research, I self-diagnosed myself with the "Overfocused Type," subtype of ADHD, according to Dr. Amen's research:
Type 3. Overfocused ADD - inattentive, trouble shifting attention, frequently get stuck in loops of negative thoughts or behaviors, obsessive, excessive worrying, inflexible, frequent oppositional and argumentative behavior. May or may not be hyperactive.
When I was young, I also suffered from OCD. Fortunately, I "grew" out of it, or say they say. What lingered was ADHD. While Adderall helps me to focus and maintain motivation, as soon as it wears off I'm left feeling like I failed, not only the past 27 years, but in general. I feel as if a diagnosis is not an answer. Hell, medication doesn't feel like the answer. I feel like I need more. Adderall is only a short-term fix.
In summation, does anyone know of a good therapist specializing in ADHD in Colordo, preferably Denver. I feel like talk therapy may be the "real" fix for me.
Can anyone help? Offer some words of advice? I still feel lost . . .
It's natural to feel this way after a diagnosis, Mars. The "failure" aspect will wear off. The thing is, you feel "normal" when you take the Adderall, but then things get mixed again. Also, Adderall causes a bit of a "crash" which is worst when you're just beginning the drug.
I think patience and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy will help you. :) Try to find a good therapist for that. One who will also do talk therapy with you is good, too. They help to organize our unorganized minds. lol
Hope I helped!
Hi, Mar! It's been awhile. I too was finally diagnosed with ADD (ADHD), after finding a doctor ready to listen and not just tell me..."You're Bi-polar...type whatever...take Wellbutrin." I'm off the Wellbutrin...which I took myself off of a year ago. It just wasn't working for me. Always thought my depression was the underlying issue. After thinking and research...I knew my depression came from...not getting the things done in my life...I needed to get done. Things meaning: everyday life...dishes, laundry, work on time, cooking, and wanting to help others in times of need. I always want everything PERFECT...and I know it never is. Just have that mind set. How in the world was I such the perfectionist and yet couldn't get of my couch to get anything done? I sure thought about it ALL day. It is crushing to my soul...felt like such a failure. Thought I was lazy. Then came the depression. I understand the loop all to well. On Vyvanse now (3 whole days) and boy am I getting things done. Just not sure how to deal with the side affects. Wonder if the pay off of getting things done is going to out weigh the dry mouth, and jittery feeling. Medication is only part of the answer...we still have to do some work emotionally to fix the years of negative thoughts and behavior we have put ourselves through. I know being on this site and chatting with you helps me. Talk therapy is a great thing...with a professional or with a friend. May each day that comes to you...you find peace in it. That's what I hope and pray for.
thghtlock... If you mean what you think I mean, then yes I agree... A lot of the "feeling like shit" comes from not knowing why something is happening. And naturally, our culture makes it so that we blame ourselves first, and ask questions never (or later). It seems a lot of times, a lot of damage happens before we find out why and start healing. Mars, get all the information you can, and never feel like you're a burden to anyone for it. It will help to make you feel better. And people who feel better are more able to contribute to society.
Hello all (more specifically, Flora, thghtlock and Frances),
Thank you for taking the time to answer my semi-question, but more a random vent post. I really appreciate someone reaching back in the darkness. It feels so much better to know that there are other hands somewhere in the black abyss of ADD waiting for me to grab hold. A firm handshake never sounded so wonderful. I think your words helped me deal with the diagnosis more than the medication per say. Of course, Adderall can do what no man/woman can do for my brain chemistry (that peachy bugger!), but hearing (or reading) the comments of other people struggling with the same issues feels like finishing a bowl of cheesy mac n cheese in an over-sized sweatshirt . . . so comforting.
"How in the world was I such the perfectionist and yet couldn't get of my couch to get anything done?"
"Medication is only part of the answer...we still have to do some work emotionally to fix the years of negative thoughts and behavior we have put ourselves through"
"Mars, get all the information you can, and never feel like you're a burden to anyone for it. It will help to make you feel better. And people who feel better are more able to contribute to society."
These read like the chapter headings of my life. I hope to get to that last thought. Thank you again! Keep writing and know that your words feel like a firm handshake to someone fumbling in the dark. ;-)
Sidenote: Sorry about all the handshake nonsense, I'm in the process of interviewing for a new position and needless to say, I'm a little hyperfocused on professionalism and feeling super career-focused.
Haha, it's okay. I understand. At the very least, it was a little entertaining to read, and I felt appreciated. :)
Hi! I am just new to this forum but, I would like to share that aside from the medicines that my doctor recommended, I also do a bit of research to help in treating myself. Like for example, Music therapy has been found by scientists to improve learning, mood, behavior and emotions. Why don't you try it too rather than be dependent on medicines.
I definitely agree with Christine. Be sure to do all you can reasonably do to help with ADHD/ADD symptoms, even once it is fully managed with medication. At some point, you might even be able to work on lowering your dose or even eliminating medication! :) You have to think long and short-term, not just one of them.