Something That Helped Me With Time Management...

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Permalink Reply by Mary Beth Camp on February 5, 2010 at 4:42pm

I can totally relate. I suffered a Tramatic Brain Injury in a car accident about 12 years ago. I have lived with ADHD since. I use a planner but I am not always consistant with keeping it updated. I like the idea of highlighting by category. Procrastination is one of my flaws. I have put in my schedule to get my weekly schedule ready on Sunday, this would incude my weekly menu, grocery list, phone calls, appointments,ect. Thinking if I can ever accomplish this I would experience a very smooth, calm and orgaized week. I have yet to find out. I do make up daily schedules. The problem is following my own schedule. I often let myself get distracted by the computer and phone.

I have set goals for myself including ways to avoid the distractions, using timers and providing myself with rewards. I really do like my life to be in order but it is a daily battle. Also the distractions from my three teens does not help the situation. They try to help and understand. It is good to connect with other adult woman that experience similiar frustrations.

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Permalink Reply by Marie on February 6, 2010 at 12:59am

I hear you. The best thing I've 'learned' or experienced in the last couple of years about ADD..is that the distractions, the frustrations,,just that daily starting at ground zero (it seems)..IS the ADD...that was/is very helpful to me..Suddenly, that stuff isn't such a huge enemy...it does still frustrate, etc..but I'm kinder to myself, now. In reference to the daily schedules, and what not...I have made it my mission...to focus on priorities in the 'here and now'...I am anal about it...I have a desk in my kitch/din area..I have planner/calendar that stays open...it gets stuff piled on it all the time..but I simplify things by just shoving it off all the time...I dont 'clean' it..I shovel it over...the goal: Keep Calendar/Planner visible..always..I know it sounds goofy...but it's my Bible..My Atlas...it's how I keep life manageable..and it's still a challenge...I saved last yrs calendar/planner..it looks like it went through a war lol...TONS of writing and scribbling on it...Following a schedule requires making new habits...no matter how small...Just keeping that calendar open and clear...was a habit I learned...then another habit...looking at the calendar...constantly. Becoming again..anal about it. Set the timer...leave notes..put your coffee on top of it all the time..anything..to make you go near the calendar...and look at it..read it...make notes on it...'X' the day once it's past..hilight specific dates/appts/bdays..whatever....dinnertime...school projects...whatever...I have SO learned to pay attention to how I operate...not how others say or think I should. ...the saying, 'there's a method to my madness', has new meaning to me, now. lol...Distraction is Definitely one of my biggest struggles..between that and procrastination..man...I tell u what..there are some days that I just put it all down...and veg..watch tv..read..computer..I just let my brain relax...I let myself 'follow' the ADD without a bunch of 'rules'...I have found that to be helpful.....Kids can definitely add to the mix...I have 7..all grown now..but it hasn't been that long...I could cry sometimes when I think of the craziness...but there was success and happiness, also. I just didn't always see it in the midst of it..if only I'd known then, what I know now...that I was 'good people'. lol...even if I did things different. Anyways,,it is nice to hear others' experiences, isn't it?

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Permalink Reply by Pat Murray on February 6, 2010 at 4:48pm

Marie - Just want to say that you have one of the best attitudes I've seen here. Good for you! I'm still working on mine...it gets bogged down with depression a lot, and I still haven't found an antidepressant that will work for me AND not make me gain 20 pounds! Gonna try the SNRI's next...SSRI's don't seem to cut it.

Marie said:

I hear you. The best thing I've 'learned' or experienced in the last couple of years about ADD..is that the distractions, the frustrations,,just that daily starting at ground zero (it seems)..IS the ADD...that was/is very helpful to me..Suddenly, that stuff isn't such a huge enemy...it does still frustrate, etc..but I'm kinder to myself, now. In reference to the daily schedules, and what not...I have made it my mission...to focus on priorities in the 'here and now'...I am anal about it...I have a desk in my kitch/din area..I have planner/calendar that stays open...it gets stuff piled on it all the time..but I simplify things by just shoving it off all the time...I dont 'clean' it..I shovel it over...the goal: Keep Calendar/Planner visible..always..I know it sounds goofy...but it's my Bible..My Atlas...it's how I keep life manageable..and it's still a challenge...I saved last yrs calendar/planner..it looks like it went through a war lol...TONS of writing and scribbling on it...Following a schedule requires making new habits...no matter how small...Just keeping that calendar open and clear...was a habit I learned...then another habit...looking at the calendar...constantly. Becoming again..anal about it. Set the timer...leave notes..put your coffee on top of it all the time..anything..to make you go near the calendar...and look at it..read it...make notes on it...'X' the day once it's past..hilight specific dates/appts/bdays..whatever....dinnertime...school projects...whatever...I have SO learned to pay attention to how I operate...not how others say or think I should. ...the saying, 'there's a method to my madness', has new meaning to me, now. lol...Distraction is Definitely one of my biggest struggles..between that and procrastination..man...I tell u what..there are some days that I just put it all down...and veg..watch tv..read..computer..I just let my brain relax...I let myself 'follow' the ADD without a bunch of 'rules'...I have found that to be helpful.....Kids can definitely add to the mix...I have 7..all grown now..but it hasn't been that long...I could cry sometimes when I think of the craziness...but there was success and happiness, also. I just didn't always see it in the midst of it..if only I'd known then, what I know now...that I was 'good people'. lol...even if I did things different. Anyways,,it is nice to hear others' experiences, isn't it?

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Permalink Reply by Mary Beth Camp on February 7, 2010 at 2:00pm

What you are saying makes a lot of sense. Keeping my planner open throughtout the day and using timers to remind me to stay on track really does work. Prioritizing is important and only putting two to three tasks/items on my ist at a time helps. That way I do not become overwhellmed with having so much to do and not enough time to do it.(which is a situation I sometimes create by becoming overwhelmed and jumping from task to task and not really getting much done, which is also caused by anxiety. It can be a vicious cycle.

I am going to try the color coding technique. It will be a good visual. If I get off track it would help bring me back. Also tracking and documenting how long it takes to complete each task will be helpful. If I can stick with it and make up a through schedule I will experience more
success. Thanks for your input.

Pat Murray said:

Marie - Just want to say that you have one of the best attitudes I've seen here. Good for you! I'm still working on mine...it gets bogged down with depression a lot, and I still haven't found an antidepressant that will work for me AND not make me gain 20 pounds! Gonna try the SNRI's next...SSRI's don't seem to cut it.

Marie said:

I hear you. The best thing I've 'learned' or experienced in the last couple of years about ADD..is that the distractions, the frustrations,,just that daily starting at ground zero (it seems)..IS the ADD...that was/is very helpful to me..Suddenly, that stuff isn't such a huge enemy...it does still frustrate, etc..but I'm kinder to myself, now. In reference to the daily schedules, and what not...I have made it my mission...to focus on priorities in the 'here and now'...I am anal about it...I have a desk in my kitch/din area..I have planner/calendar that stays open...it gets stuff piled on it all the time..but I simplify things by just shoving it off all the time...I dont 'clean' it..I shovel it over...the goal: Keep Calendar/Planner visible..always..I know it sounds goofy...but it's my Bible..My Atlas...it's how I keep life manageable..and it's still a challenge...I saved last yrs calendar/planner..it looks like it went through a war lol...TONS of writing and scribbling on it...Following a schedule requires making new habits...no matter how small...Just keeping that calendar open and clear...was a habit I learned...then another habit...looking at the calendar...constantly. Becoming again..anal about it. Set the timer...leave notes..put your coffee on top of it all the time..anything..to make you go near the calendar...and look at it..read it...make notes on it...'X' the day once it's past..hilight specific dates/appts/bdays..whatever....dinnertime...school projects...whatever...I have SO learned to pay attention to how I operate...not how others say or think I should. ...the saying, 'there's a method to my madness', has new meaning to me, now. lol...Distraction is Definitely one of my biggest struggles..between that and procrastination..man...I tell u what..there are some days that I just put it all down...and veg..watch tv..read..computer..I just let my brain relax...I let myself 'follow' the ADD without a bunch of 'rules'...I have found that to be helpful.....Kids can definitely add to the mix...I have 7..all grown now..but it hasn't been that long...I could cry sometimes when I think of the craziness...but there was success and happiness, also. I just didn't always see it in the midst of it..if only I'd known then, what I know now...that I was 'good people'. lol...even if I did things different. Anyways,,it is nice to hear others' experiences, isn't it?

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Permalink Reply by Tess on February 7, 2010 at 6:29pm

I have to physically stop myself from doing those 5 things in that extra 15 minutes that I think I have.

About five years ago I gave my partner a Christmas coupon that promised that I would add 100% more time to whatever time I thought it would take to get something done so that I was not always rushing off to airports or to meetings. If I had to be at a meeting at 10am and it was going to take me 10 minutes to get there, I would leave 20 minutes before 10. If I had to the grocery store and I thought it would take 30 minutes. I would say I would be home in one hour.

This is the best thing that I have ever done to control my time management. I did it for a year because the coupon had a one year expiration but it has become a habit that I have continued.

It helps me stay on time, the added 100% is absolutely a better reflection of the actual amount of time that it takes to get things done, and it keeps me considerate of other people's time.

Tess http://primarilyinattentiveadd.com

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Permalink Reply by Marie on February 7, 2010 at 10:20pm

That's it, exactly:)...I think lots of ppl have time issue problems..not just those with scattered thinking or ADD or whatever...lol...but I think the issue for me, and maybe other ADD'ers, is the overwhelm part. The overwhelmed feeling takes over, easily..if we let it lol..it's a challenge..but it can be managed...I hear ya, Mary Beth...and Tess...that's a great idea,,and very similar to what the 'planner' taught me.....realizing actual 'real time' minutes/hours it took for 'tasks', appts, etc. Thanks, Pat Murray, for the compliment:) How nice of you to say so. That made my day!:) Conquering and/or managing areas in my life such as time management,,,led to other small victories...when you break em down in to small increments..it really, really helps...well..it helps me, anyways. Whether it's deciding to make your bed every day...rain or shine...no matter what...because it becomes about something else, other than the bed...does that make sense? lol...and one success builds on another...for me..anyways...nice hearin from others:)

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Permalink Reply by lokenkristianna on February 9, 2010 at 11:24pm

I appreciate for sharing such an useful information within us.I was wondering this only.I would like to say Time management implement a time management plan, respect our promises, write down important things, plan your week, carry a notebook, write down to do list, identify bad habits Find out wasting time etc. these will help you to save your lots time and extra work also.

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Permalink Reply by Amy on February 24, 2010 at 10:40am

Wow Marie, I can totally relate to the comment alluding to your guilt about the "craziness" while raising your kids. I'm a recently diagnosed 50 yo mom of 5 ...three of which are still home (but the end is in sight, lol). The early years with everyone were totally crazy and chaotic, especially considering several of my kids are ADD as well... and did I mention I homeschooled?!?!? You can just IMAGINE!!! Well, there was never a dull moment, and we certainly had a lot of fun. :) I didn't even "believe" in ADHD back then, and was just thankful that my "quirky, creative, out-of-the-box" kids weren't in public school.

Now that I'm older, however, I struggle with guilt, and have had to make an effort to let it all go. I would do things differently if I could do it all over. But, if I knew then what I know now, I probably never would've had 5 kids in the first place! So, whaddya gonna do? I've apologized to my kids for certain aspects of their childhood, and they're way more accepting of it than I am. They assure me they had a great childhood ("magical", my 19 yo daughter likes to say)...and they seem to be well-adjusted, capable individuals. I suppose most parents go through this...maybe it's just part of the package.

Marie said:
Kids can definitely add to the mix...I have 7..all grown now..but it hasn't been that long...I could cry sometimes when I think of the craziness...but there was success and happiness, also. I just didn't always see it in the midst of it..if only I'd known then, what I know now...that I was 'good people'. lol...even if I did things different.

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Permalink Reply by Marie on February 25, 2010 at 2:30pm

Homeschooling, too, eh? I considered doing that, back in the day, for about 30 seconds. I knew my limitations lol. If your kids are assuring you that you did ok...take them at their word...I have specific periods of time,,,even some specific events that stand out to me as the rough stuff,,,and when I can..I just try to 'love the hurts away'..today. Kids, even grown ones,,still want our love, acceptance and approval. What we couldn't give them then,,,we can give them now...My oldest was so 'stiff' towards me,,,he's 33..and that's beginning to change in a way that makes me cry...(happy cry)...he's softening..just staying in our childrens lives,,being there on a regular, dependable basis,,even in all of our 'crap'...believe it or not...the kids forget a lot of the crap that eats at us, dont they? lol...I wish they wouldnt have had to..but there it is...One thing I know for sure...excessive worrying and guilting...does NOTHING...nothing at all....well...nothing positive...it may be what's behind a lot of the 'meds' ppl take. (like blood pressure ..that kind of med lol)anyways..glad you shared Amy:) Boy, when all 5 are gone? It's GREAT!!!...its a whole new chapter..its lonely at first...but they come back as all these adults and its fantastic..I never thought it'd be so cool having all these 'people' grown up and in my life. 'Cheers' to your family!

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Permalink Reply by Amy on February 26, 2010 at 10:09am

I had NO idea of my limitations till several years ago, which made for a LOT (and I mean LOT!!!) of self deprecation and needless guilt. There were several reasons for my lack of self-understanding, which fortunately for me, have recently come into the light. Thank god for MID-LIFE!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT till all the kids are steady on their feet and on their own! I've got big plans....going back to school is front and center. I'm totally enjoying my kids' transition to adulthood, and looking forward to putting my energies into the "next thing", whatever I decide that to be. :)

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