What other people say about you?

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Permalink Reply by Karen L on May 29, 2009 at 12:03am

Why is she always blaming, making excuses, never taking responsibility for her actions?

Will she ever save money? (And I'm 46 with no savings at all)

I sure hope she doesn't expect ME to solve her problems.

She said "what"??? (in reference so some tactless, off color comment)

She's so immature (yes, even at age 46)

She is so spontaneous, energetic and full of zest! I do let excitement get the best of me at times. :)

Karen is very talented with her words (I've written poetry most of my life)

Karen is very affectionate and compassionate and courageous.

(Not all ADHD traits are bad. I challenge you all to find at least one good thing people say about you.)

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Permalink Reply by Manda on May 29, 2009 at 4:14pm

Karen L said:

Not all ADHD traits are bad. I challenge you all to find at least one good thing people say about you.

I'll accept your challenge. One good thing people say about me is how creative I am. I've been writing poetry since I was six, and wowed my teacher in first or second grade (I had the same teacher for both grades, and the same ids were in my class, so I can't remember what grade) when we were assigned to write a one stanza poem. Mine was 5 stanzas long. In my English and writing classes, many of my pieces have been picked as group or class favorites. I've been thinking about publishing a book of my poems for some time now, but haven't taken any action on it because I'm focused on my studies now. One day, maybe.

Another thing I hear is what a good leader I am. I'm a very determined person, thanks to my overfocusing. Once I have my mind set on something, I do everything possible to get it done. My genetics class last spring participated in a huge class project, in which we acted out protein synthesis and uploaded the video to YouTube. I was the fundraising chairwomen, and when everything was all said and done, my professor told me what a wonderful job my team and I had done, and how impressed he was with what I had done with the little I had to work with. I've worked on many big events, Relay for Life and Taste of Citrus Park, but what my professor told me was the nicest thing anyone had ever told me after completing a huge project.

My ADHD is my curse, but its also a gift. Because I've had it all my life, I don't know what I would be like if I didn't have it. But it's a part of me. I take the criticism hard. I don't mean to be that way, I just don't have a grip on it. I find it hard to tell people about my ADHD, because some people don't always have the best reactions to it. Some people know about it, some call it an excuse (my father is one). So I want to say point out when I'm doing something, so I'll learn to catch on. But I can't ask that of people who don't believe me. So for now I accept the criticism, it hurts, but I hold onto all the good things I've heard.

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Permalink Reply by Lori Doyle on May 30, 2009 at 5:28pm

One good thing people say about me is that I am funny. Sometimes my funnies are only funny to me but laughing at myself is the best thing about me sometimes. I do try to make people laugh and I do a fairly good job most of the time :) I am also creative and I get lots of compliments on that too. I do see a commonality between us awesome women with ADHD is that most of us are pretty creative.

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Permalink Reply by Amy B on June 9, 2009 at 3:44pm

Some good things people say about me - well that I am creative and a good teacher. My creativity probably helps my teaching because I teach special education and I am constantly coming up with new ways for my kiddos to learn. Have been told I am a good leader because I deligate well (lol - someone else has to take care of the details).
But yeah - I get the - "if you put it away now...." or "why do you have piles, just file everything" (bf)

My meds have helped me balance my emotions so I don't carry others' comment with me as much. In the end people criticize - whether it's related to ADHD or not. Many think they are helping - so I take what I can from critics, let go of what I can't change, and enjoy my strengths.

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie S. on June 9, 2009 at 3:57pm

Wow I feel this way too! People have always told me that I was creative and interesting, but I always got complaints from ppl in my life (family and friends) that would say I was too forgetful, lazy, messy, unorganized, hyper, strange, and just plain CRAZY. My parents have said that I was their hardest child (though in a loving way ;)) and teachers have remarked about how I didn't try hard enough in my schoolwork (even though in my mind I'm working my butt off) and sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. However, all of my friends and family say they love my sense of humor, and the fact that I can make a good situation out of a bad one (because I've gotten myself in trouble so many times) and how understanding I am. But sometimes I feel like, "Am I the only one with these problems?" "Why does it take me so long to get something right?"

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Permalink Reply by Lori Doyle on June 10, 2009 at 3:31pm

Stephanie--AMEN SISTER!

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Permalink Reply by Monique on June 19, 2009 at 11:53am

I hear most of those and:
-You are so mean (that's everyone)
-You say whatever you think whether pple like it or not (my Dad)
-You can be so blunt (everyone)
-You are your worst enemy (everyone)
-Your too harsh on yourself (everyone)
-You can't always be perfect
-You are too emotional...or too sensitive (my date/friend)
-Your soo messy (my date/friend)
-You don't trust anyone...I wonder why you trust me (therapist)
-You take allot of energy out of people (therapist)
-You are stuck in your box (psychiatrist)
-Why are'nt you married yet ( almost everyone)
-Your too loud (almost everyone)
-You don't make any sense (almost everyone)

-Sometimes I want to be someone else (me)

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Permalink Reply by Karen L on June 19, 2009 at 12:26pm

Monique - I've heard some of those a lot. Sensitive, loud (I wasn't called Loudmouth Ley for nothing!), too hard on myself, perfectionistic. I have often wanted to be someone else. I think that's a common desire among us.

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Permalink Reply by Nicki on June 19, 2009 at 9:18pm

"You just don't care." (My mom)

"ADHD is just an excuse." (My dad)

"You're just a little insecure." (my sister)

"You just want people to feel sorry for you" (my brother)

"There's nothing wrong with you The doctors are wrong!" (My bro-in-law)

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Permalink Reply by Karen L on June 20, 2009 at 12:10am

I think people will say these things when they're uncomfortable and/or don't know what to say or maybe they're in total denial because this ADHD thing is just too big for them to deal with. Then they have to look at themselves and see if they have it too and many people just can't do that.

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Permalink Reply by Manda on June 21, 2009 at 3:43pm

I hate it when people tell me ADHD is an excuse for being lazy or not getting things done. My father says my ADHD is an excuse, too. Because he has it, and he has ways of dealing with it and working with it, he automatically assumes I can do it too. I have a more severe case than he does. He always has to be on the move and is impatient. Me, I'm all over the place, distracted, emotional, you name it. He just can't understand that I'm not him, and that no two cases are the same. It hurts when people, especially family, say ADHD's an excuse, especially if they have it, too.

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Permalink Reply by jean on August 15, 2009 at 9:10am

Are you paying attention (grandma)

if you'd use your head for something besides a hat rack ( grandma)

if you had a brain, you'd be dangerous ( My father)

you don't apply yourself (teachers)

your late( work)

unprepared again..(teachers)

this is expired( too many things this was mentioned about)

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