I've been at my job nearly a year (longest I've ever had a full-time job! I'm only 21 though) and I'm not sure what to do. It's a high pressure role (continual deadlines, continual expectation to raise performance, increasing workload etc) and though I'm really doing my best, I really don't like it and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it! There's a lot of plus-sides to the role (good, steady income, learning/career opportunities, etc), but I just feel it's all too much.
But the CRAZY thing is that my manager thinks I'm doing a really good job and is really encouraging, and so I'm worried that quitting would be a really bad idea. After all, if HE thinks I'm good at what I'm doing (and he's got about 20 years more experience than I do!), then I feel that I shouldn't be questioning it. My manager is very good at making sure I stay focussed on my priority tasks and that my workload is realistic (when I started, she could see that I had a terrible habit of starting a dozen projects and finishing none of them) but inside I feel overwhemled, hopeless and stressed. I've changed ADHD medications/doses a few times since I've been at the job, in response to the pressure but it's not making a difference.
Should I just try and "get over it," feel grateful for the job I have and stop whining? Or look towards a less intense role?
I had a very similar situation with a job where I felt I was underperforming because my own expectations for productivity were so high. I'm used to working in a small business environment where you have to do EVERYTHING.
This was a corporate environment where I just couldn't get much done because of so many other people being involved, and I was so frustrated I almost quit. Finally I realized that if THEY didn't have a problem with my performance and thought I was the bomb, I needed to get over it and just take the money!
I understand how you feel. Even on medication that feeling of overwhelm and stress ect does not leave me. I guess we all feel like that at times adhd or not. I think that the level left behind after the meds kick in - is just normal response to working in that enviroment. all my collegues have to cope with fast paced work and that feeling is normal. It's just I feel it a bitmore because of the way my brain is wired and responds to stimuli around me. I kep telling myself that. And if my bosses rate my work and handle my adhd - and i do my best to manage it, then that is cool. I keep telling myself that the medication is not a magic wand. we all feel stress andoverwhelmed at work to some degree. me a bit more than most. but would be x10 worse if i was not on the adhd meds. so i am thankful for the lessening of those feelings.
I still feel those feelings inside all the time. I think that is something i am having to learn to accept and manage a bit better. adhd plays tricks on you and I think that I am just as good as anyone else. Just the medication does not cure it all. We all get stressed. i could be worse. if i am doing a good job then just relax. but i feel like i am an imposter and restless and that they will see through me. that is just my adhd playing up. meds not got rid of that residual feeling. i so got to work on that. you are not alone feeling the way you do.
Thanks for the reply - Since then, I have applied to several more places. I'm going to the job fair today.