ADD women and Money

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Comment by Jo Ellen on February 19, 2010 at 2:06am

I started a new discussion: Tips to Curve Overspending & controling finances. And I move all the Open wall comments in order to the discussion.

Jo Ellen

Comment by Barbara on February 18, 2010 at 7:55pm

hawaiimei , I put your 1,2,3's and important points in word doc, underlined, highlighted so I can go and print it out on colorful paper as I reminder to be good to myself instead of causing undo stress and panic from not managing what I am blessed with. :) Thanks again!

Comment by Barbara on February 18, 2010 at 7:12pm

O.K I will do that, please come along all of you.

Comment by Jo Ellen on February 17, 2010 at 5:26pm

Just a suggestion, but someone should make this a discussion instead of writing on the comment wall. It would be easier to find and the comments would start with the original poster and all the responses would follow below the original post. For some reason, I am having to read it from the bottom up. It is an interesting discussion.

Jo Ellen

Comment by hawaiimei on February 17, 2010 at 4:07pm

Like everything else, I find that it is a trial and error journey for me. Nothing works for too long because I’d get bored and try modifying whatever is working. Generally speaking – the simpler and easier, the better chance I’d do it and keep on doing it.

After over 10 years of working with different financial counselors, coaches, therapists and software programs, here are some things that work for me and may be it will work for you too.

#1 priority for me is to take my ADD medication (a must for me to curb my impulse spending and not get overwhelmed with handling my finances).

Never be late with bill paying again:
o Pay bills only twice a month on 1st and 15th and use a simple handwritten page (a spiral steno notebook will do) for each month listing all recurrent bills due each month (most likely the same list for every month)
o list bills due 1st and 15th with amounts (e.g. pay on 1st if due date is on the 10th or 15th, pay on 15th if due date is on 23rd etc., allow enough time)
o check off all bills paid each month
o Recommendation if you use the computer: To make bill paying easier, I set up online bill payment (free) with my checking account and vendors (credit card, utility, phone co. etc.) – NOT automatic payment; I’d authorize payment online on the 1st or 15th, it’s a snap and takes less than 5 minutes each month

(Best to take your ADD medication first before doing the following steps, it’ll help with focusing)
Know you have enough money to spend (basic 2 steps)
o Know what you need
o Where’s the cash

1. Know what you need
o Simple list of all expenses for the month:
 must have: food, gas, utilities, medication, insurance dues, etc.
 good to have: clothing, make up, hair care, toiletries, household supplies, birthday gifts etc.
o Simple list of all money coming in
o Compare the two lists and see if you have enough to cover, if not, fudge the ‘good to have’ list till you have enough (this is the hardest part)
o If you need a new tire, some of the ‘good to have’ items will have to go unless you’ve saved up some spare cash
o You can do this in Excel also: 2 columns: In & Out

2. Where is the cash
o Take out in cash the total for food and gas for the month (or half the month if you don’t have enough). Divide the cash by 4 (or 2) and put in 4 (or 2) separate envelopes. You’ll get to use a new envelope each Sunday.
o If you cheat and use the cash for something else like a new mascara that you must have, you’ll have to eat Ramen noodles instead till Sunday.

These are basic steps to help me get on track. Once stabilized, there are fancier ways to stay on track. I’ve used many software programs and felt immensely at peace using YNAB (You Need A Budget) knowing I have one month ‘buffer’ money set aside. That took me a couple of years and often I need to dip into that buffer.

Spare money:
What works for me is ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’ i.e. if I don’t see it in my checking account, I don’t have it. If I get a check for my birthday present or anything not expected, I’d put the cash in a tin can in the pantry (actually a fake Scotch Guard can). I’ve been able to save a couple of thousands that way and not for any purpose at all.

There is always hope and there are ways that would work out of a seemingly desperate situation at times. Do what works for YOU and the only way is to try and see if it helps you. Good luck and don’t give up!

Comment by Karen L on February 17, 2010 at 2:13pm

Marie - I don't think there's any system that is 100% flawless. I think each person needs to find out where their weakness lies and then work to combat that. for example, my biggest weakness (when it pertains to money) is fighting that impulsive spending and keeping track of it after EVERY transaction. I just now (literally right now) realized that after every single transaction, i need to write it in my register. even if that means standing at the checkout counter writing it in my checkbook. i don't know if that will work but all i can do is try.
i do have a spreadsheet with all my bills on it. When they're due, when I will pay them, who pays what (between me and daughter) and how much is being paid each week. I have things color coded to help chunk it together. It does look good on paper and I may not follow it to a "T" but it does help to keep track of the bills so I don't incur late fees.
my therapist suggested that i check my balance in excess because i have such anxieties about it and don't check it often enough. if i check it like multiple times a day, it would become habit. but i haven't done it. why? because i forget or that anxiety gets to be too much. but that's something one could do.
my sister also offered to be a "free" savings account. where i could send her some money each month and she'd hold it for me. but i haven't done that yet either. i feel silly about it. need to get over that and just do it!
thanks for helping me see what i need to do more diligently. :)

Comment by Marie on February 17, 2010 at 12:22pm

Does anyone actually have a system they use that works? Simplicity. On my best days..Bills for the month 1500.00...that's a little less than 400 week...keep it separate from other money. That helps me..I don't 'mix' money. 1 day a week with a calendar that I check in with all the time..daily..constantly..helps me foresee the extras..bdays..kids 'fees'..yadda yadda...when there's not enough money...I do important bills first...house/utilities..then work from there...the thing I do that helps me(when Im feeling most successful)..is attending to it regularly..in my case, I do finances daily..balance..check my 'list' of expenses..but it's all in one place...admittedly there are times when it all splats...on a big wall...and I dont do squat...cuz I just cant get there...but having a system in place gives me a place to 'go back to'. Anyone have other ideas? I'm always listening for new ideas to make this stuff all work better!

Comment by Barbara on February 17, 2010 at 11:23am

Karen, Thanks for the encouragment. My mind just seems so crazy here and there and everywhere. I have so much to do and dont focus and concentrate to get it done. I am a foodaholic and a procrastinator. Just within the last 2yrs I have been diagnosed ADHD, I can not seem to run life as smoothly as I use to. I never got everything done, but I did not feel so energized and exshausted at the same. I guess it could be because I did not deal with as much as I do now. I would go to work , eat through the day at whatever craving came along, go home cook dinner, maybe fight with my husband, eat some more fall asleep on the couch. NOW I am seperated from my husband, can not seem to get my things organized and my apt set up right, I go to school, and work, have a teenage daughter and feel like I never get anything accomplished. I just veg out when I should be dealing with stuff. Any suggestions??? :)

Comment by mary on February 17, 2010 at 11:01am

It seems there is no answer...when you live in a small town and 150 miles from the only city that has any real resources and can't move because this is where my business is ....I guess this is just who I am...we are..and there is no true or real answer except accepting it..and dealing with it the best way we can with the little resources we have...that is life for us...it just seems that is a shortcoming ...it seems that we should be able to do better. Mary

Comment by Karen L on February 17, 2010 at 10:14am

Barbara - First of all, your problem is that you have ADHD! and no, you aren't making excuses. it is just a vicious circle. you need help with controlling money but the resources to do so cost money.
i have found a technique that helps (yes, it's a spreadsheet but it's color coded and as simple as possible). it doesn't help with the impulsive spending but I'm going to keep trying to get a grip on that. don't give up and be gentle with yourself. :)

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