Women With ADHD ADD

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Trying to explain the condition to my spouse

I'm just on the phone with my husband. And I found myself trying to explain my condition to him. First it seemed he understood but then I heard him say phrases like: I was a lot more normal then I thought I was. Just because I was convinced I had a problem wouldn't make it so. My house it a mess because I just say it:" screw it!" I just don't possess the ability to do it, which I would if he would yell at me and made me do it.
Now he's backtracking. Crap, I don't know what he's saying, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. He's making me cry. I just feel so desperate. I wish he'd understand, he doesn't. He can't. I'm sure he would try, but he doesn't know where to turn to. Help!!! I totally understand what he's saying but I can't get "myself" across. This is one of the desperate moments of living with ADHD. I understand my spouse, I understand the problems he's having with me and living with me but no matter how many words I'm using and how desperately I'm trying to explain myself, he can't comprehend.
He always has better argument to discredit my reasoning, he can argue much better than I ever could.
I'm so exhausted...
40 minutes later....
We got into a discussion about my work. At least I know what I'm talking about. But even here he's trying to kill me with his reasoning that things could be so much better...
I'm now going to poor myself the third glass of wine (by now...) and maybe I'll survive, ...maybe......

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Comment by Brenda on December 17, 2009 at 8:15am
Kat, I have ADD and I understand to a point, but there is still a lot I do not understand. I guess it is me being me. lol. I agree with you everyone does not understand this problem. We should try and educate ourselves so we can explain it to others as we learn ourselves. I learn something new about myself pretty often. Sounds Scary doesn't it? It is to me. lol. I try to laugh and make the best of a situation, we are in this thing together so let's get through it together. Have a great day.
Comment by kat on December 15, 2009 at 10:45pm
Yes, what Brenda said. Nice.

I havent told most people about my ADD. Not even my husband. His family always joke about such things they dont understand. Even though Some of them have problems with alcohol etc. So I know what I need to do to get things done etc. I am fine without people knowing. There are so many who dont understand. If I didnt have it myself I may not have understood it either. LOL
Comment by Brenda on December 10, 2009 at 2:46pm
Heide, my husband does not understand thoroughly about the ADHD. I understand where you are coming from and why you feel like you do. I know I have a PROBLEM. You know you have a problem so we just have to do what we have to help ourselves. If it is taking medication, going to therapy or going to groups that gather to discuss these problems and how they overcome it day by day. Love your husband for who he is and love yourself for who you are, everyone is different in this world and no 2 people are the same. Don't belittle yourself because you have this problem, you aren't alone. I am 50 years old and just found out 31/2 years ago I have ADHD. I have been knowing all of my life something was not right with my thinking process. I am not stupid, my brain is just wired a little different than a normal person's. If there is such a thing as normal. ha! ha! We are all different. If we were all the same, this would be a boring world wouldn't it?

Be proud you have your health and know you are blessed to wake up to see another beautiful day. Don't allow this ADHD to overcome your life and rob from you the good things life has to offer. Be happy and search for ways that are best for you to deal with this problem. We are together and millions more so consider people like us very SPECIAL People. We have each other to relate to and talk to. Take care for now and keep in touch.

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