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This is so me and how I often feel in social gatherings. Uninteresting and uninterested. But I now have a trick. I imagine I am playing the role of someone I admire and I try to be that person. It's hard. Most of the time, before I go to a get-together, I repeat this in my head several times: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, and: GET INTERESTED IN THE CONVERSATION, ASK MORE QUESTIONS, LET A MOMENT OF SILENCE GO BY BEFORE YOU ADD A COMMENT. I occasionally get bored at the conversation and lose interest. That's when I get up and start picking up dirty glasses and empty plates, or go to the washroom. On my way, I will meet someone who was also busy doing the same thing and start chatting with that one person. One on one basis in nicer than in a group. It's more safe. In a group, I often make stupid comments that I will ruminate for days on end. That's why I started the habit of repeating to myself before going anywhere: SHUT THE HELL UP!!! I also started to do something else in view of future meeting with the same people. I feel terrible about this, but it makes me feel better. I actually take notes of what a person told me. The age of their kids. Their names. The country they visited. When they are leaving and when they are coming back. That way, before the next meeting with this person, I am able to say: "So, how is little Emmett doing? Is he sleeping well?". Otherwise, it goes in one ear and out the other and I feel awful when someone says: "I think I mentioned it to you last time remember?". And I don't remember, sorry. But I want to remember. I just don't.
Wow, I just realized I commented in answer to Tara McGillicuddy's comment from February 14th, 2009! Well, there you go. That's how "ordered" I am in this life! (see comment below in response to Tara's response to Mary Kay L.'s comment at the beginning of this thread).
I'm not so sure knowing why I struggle with ADHD at age 59 as opposed to my "Barbara-like" years growing up & not knowing why I was so miserable and anxious all the time, is a good thing. Now that I know why I am the way I am and suffer the way I do, and what I should do to improve things, I can't seem to use any of this "knowledge" in a consistent enough way to make a difference. After nearly 60 years of "bad habits" the debris that has accumulated is overwhelming...and to add the guilt of knowing about ADHD but failing to take corrective action, is depressing.
I love this video because it reminds me of the contrast between my older sister and I...even to this day and our current lifestyles! My husband (also ADHD) and I are fine artists, and life is constant anxiety over financial, healthcare, housing and adult children issues. My sister is enjoying retirement after a successful (government) career, with her husband (retired IRS agent), pursuing her hobbies and traveling while celebrating the successes of her adult children!
Depressing. Yes, I know it's wrong for me to look at it that way, which is exactly my point. But, humor helps a lot, so thanks for the video!
Helen's life looks boring, but I sure wish I had a sweater without a spot.
I hated Helen. She talked to Babs at school and basically ignored her at the party. Who has a party immediately after school!! I think it was a set-up and Helen was in on it all along!! LOL!!
@Debbie G-loved it!! This is Helen year 2011-She and her husband are divorced. He is gay and can no longer live a lie (I would soooo go to his freedom party)-he now has a partner that allows him to sleep in the same bed with him (instead of the twin beds Helen demanded). Her adult son is the CEO of a cutting edge software development company specializing in video game graphics and has finally been diagnosed with ADHD with Hyperactivity (she just thought he needed more discipline). He does not visit her often. And Helen, poor Helen, is still very neat and is known by all the neighbors as "the cat lady". She smells like moth balls and always has a sweater.
OMG! This was BRILLIANT! All these years of the numerous struggles with ADD and my answers were here all this time......... I just need to trade in all my bad habits for good habits. It's so simple! Thank you for this insightful and educational video. You can be sure I will be sharing it with other ADD women! ;)
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